i want to be so uninhibited that i can shout "fuck it!" and storm out of the house despite my parents' shock to go meet up with a bad influence, and to troll around in the night and wreak havoc and talk about life and be barefoot and laugh and get sick in the morning and sleep through school

christ, i just want to be alive, i want the cold air to smack me in the fucking face

but the sad truth is, i'm just gonna sit in this chair in front of my laptop all night, and i'm going to forget these moments, because they are nothing special and are exactly like every other moment of every other fucking mundane second of my life

i got a roll of film developed today and every single photo was so awful

byebye